i was always a chubby kid...had the little double chin happening by the time i was 5.i learnt to turn to food as a refuge,a friend,a comfort etc.as a teen i kept getting bigger..but expected and hoped to find a boyfriend.
the diet journey began as a teen..the weight watchers meetings,the meal replacement diets,the bread diet[what the hell?? haha], i even got roped into fasting as an aunt had been doing it for many years..lasted one week..still can't face drinking hot water to this day..mind you..can't stomach[no pun intended..haha] pizza after a night of cheap flagon wine with a friend,washed down by a pizza..always blamed the pizza!!!
tried diet pills in the 90's..wow was i one happy camper..stoned out of my mind..and so so happy!! i remember starting a new job at that time,and having big trouble concentrating on learning cashing up procedures..maths never being a strength for me..made worse by being under the influence of good ole duramine...lost weight fast,still managed to have the odd gin and tonic too..happy days.
met my husband,the marriage lasted 2 years..i left it with my newborn daughter..under the influence of drugs i married the wrong man.got the best end of the deal..my girl.
the weight came back on with a vengence....my health started getting affected..food being my comfort and refuge...no amount of counselling etc. could stop me.
i feel like food is my drug..i used to smoke,but it's to expensive,not to mention the health issues..but we have to eat..and when you are stuck inside your head feeling like you are crap..and not worth it,i settled for less..putting more energy into my friendships and rewarding myself with food,rather than the ''right'' things.
i was a better friend to others than i was to myself...
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